Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys in life. But it has its fair set of challenges, especially when it comes to sleep training. By now, you’ve probably heard the crazy stories of moms trying to sleep-train their babies with little to no success. In fact, according to one expert, about 85% of families that contact her have had some form of sleep training on their own and failed – sometimes, miserably.
But this doesn’t have to be your story. This guide will provide actionable tips to help you sleep-train your kid like a pro. We’ll also talk about how the family bed can be a great part of sleep training for infants and toddlers.
What is Sleep Training?
Sleep training is all about teaching your baby how to sleep independently. You know how sometimes babies have trouble falling asleep on their own or wake up a lot during the night? Sleep training helps them learn to soothe themselves and sleep longer stretches without needing you to rock them or feed them every time they wake up.
When to Start Sleep Training
It’s all about finding the right time when your baby is ready to learn how to sleep on their own. Usually, parents start thinking about sleep training when their baby is around 4 to 6 months old because that's when babies begin to develop more regular sleep patterns and can learn new habits. But six months is generally agreed to be a good timeframe.
It's important to wait until your baby is old enough to sleep longer stretches at night without needing to eat as often. Every baby is different, so it's okay to wait until you feel you and your baby are ready for this big step. But you can also check out these signs:
- When their sleep patterns become more established – like they don’t wake up as often
- When they show interest in their bed or room
- When the infant sleeps soundly through some stretches of the night
How to Sleep Train Your Baby
The good thing about a family bed is that it makes it easy to train your baby to sleep. You don’t have to teach them to sleep alone in a separate room right away, which is comforting. Instead, you gradually help your baby learn to fall asleep independently while still being close by in the family bed. It’s also easier on you since you won’t need to get up and go to another room for night feedings or comfort your baby in the middle of the night.
Here are some tips on how to do it:
Establish a Bedtime Routine
Start with a calming bedtime routine every night. This could be giving your baby a warm bath, reading bedtime stories, and dimming the lights. A routine helps signal your baby that it's time to wind down and sleep.
Use the "Sweet Spot" for Bedtime
Pay attention to your baby’s natural sleep cues. The "sweet spot" for bedtime is usually about 15 minutes before they are fully asleep. This is when they’re drowsy but still awake enough to learn to fall asleep independently.
Choose a Sleep Training Method
There are different methods, such as the Ferber method sleep training (gradually letting your baby cry for short periods before comforting them) or the cry-it-out method (letting your baby cry for longer periods). There’s also the check-and-console method, which encourages you to check and console your baby before they even cry. Pick one that feels right for you and your baby’s needs.
Create a Comfortable Sleep Environment
Use a firm mattress without pillows or loose bedding that could cover your baby’s face. This helps reduce the risk of suffocation. Keep the room comfortable, and dress your baby in light sleepwear.
Strategies for Safe Co-Sleeping
You can do your sleep training on a different bed and bedroom. But you can also do it on a family bed. The good thing about family beds is that they’re spacious – your kid can sleep independently. But if you’re going to co-sleep, here’s how to do it safely:
- Make sure the mattress is firm, and the bedding is light. Avoid pillows, heavy blankets, and soft toys near your baby. This helps keep your baby safe while they sleep.
- The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends keeping the baby on their back to sleep. This position is safest and helps reduce the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).
- Dress your baby in light, breathable clothing. Keep the room at a comfortable temperature to prevent overheating.
- Ensure there are no gaps between the mattress and the bed frame or wall where the baby could get trapped. Avoid sleeping on soft surfaces like couches or armchairs.
Transitioning to Independent Sleep
As your baby grows, you can help them sleep more independently while still enjoying the closeness of the family bed:
- Start a bedtime routine that includes calming activities like a warm bath, a gentle massage, or reading a story. This routine signals to your baby that it's time to sleep.
- Pay attention to your baby's wake windows—the periods between naps. Consistent wake windows help your baby feel ready for sleep at the right times.
- When your baby cries in the middle of the night, try to soothe them while keeping them in the bed. Gently pat or rub its back instead of picking them up right away. This helps them to learn to self-soothe – while reinforcing secure attachment.
- Encourage your baby to nap in their crib or bassinet during the day. This helps them get used to sleeping in their own space, making the transition easier.
- Stick to the same bedtime routine and soothing methods. Consistency helps your baby understand what to expect and feel secure.
- If your baby is old enough and no longer needs nighttime feedings for nutrition, you can gradually introduce night weaning to encourage longer stretches of sleep.
How to Maintain a Restful Environment for the Whole Family
A peaceful sleep environment is important for everyone in the family:
- Keep the lights dim in the evening to signal it’s time to wind down. This helps regulate your baby's circadian rhythm.
- Use a white noise machine or a fan to create a soothing background sound. This can help drown out household noises and make sleeping easier for everyone.
- Limit screen time and stimulating activities before bed. A calm environment helps everyone, including your baby, prepare for sleep.
- Be prepared for sleep regressions, which are times when your baby's sleep patterns change. These are normal and usually temporary. Continue with your routine and offer extra comfort as needed.
- Take turns with your partner to comfort your baby when they wake up. This ensures that both parents get enough rest.
Experts in the US warn against bed-sharing with infants because of the increased risk of injuries and accidents. Co-sleeping elevates the risk of SIDS mostly due to suffocation (pillows, soft surfaces, blankets, etc.) and overheating. We recommend getting a family bed because it has enough space for everyone. You can customize your bed to match the needs of everyone, including your infants.
